Nuance as Liberation
Years ago, I heard Adyashanti share with Oprah that the moment we label something—a tree, for example—we stop truly seeing it for what it is. This idea has stuck with me: when we trade wonder for certainty, believing we’ve figured it out or captured it through a label or definition, we lose so much richness in our experience.
In my own life, especially over the last few years, I’ve gone through a major deconstruction process, shedding old beliefs and learning to be comfortable with questions. Honestly, I’ve found that I almost prefer questions to answers right now. Initially, it felt uncomfortable, but there’s also a liberation in letting go of beliefs that were actually imposed upon me and no longer feeling attached to them.
This brings me to the liberation found in embracing nuance. Ive been thinking about colonization and how it thrives on rigid, dualistic thinking, creating hierarchies that tell us, “I’m right; you’re wrong.” This mindset has led to the desecration of countless tribes and peoples, asserting dominance over their lands and cultures by enforcing a singular view: “My way is superior. My god, the true god.”
Decolonizing our minds means moving away from those rigid structures and opening ourselves to the fluid, feminine nature of life. I’ve just started reading The Alphabet Versus The Goddess, which contrasts the linear nature of words with the nonlinear, expansive quality of images. While words often feel fixed, images allow for multiple interpretations; they’re multifaceted.
This is where nuance comes in. It becomes a pathway to liberation—a way of seeing beyond the surface and deconstructing the binaries colonization instills. By embracing this complexity, I’m expanding my capacity to be with my own contradictions and, therefore, the contradictions of others, creating space for the in-between—the space beyond rigid definitions or boxes.
This capacity to hold nuance is transformative. It impacts every area of our lives, especially in these times when the world feels more divided than ever. Often, we’re pushed into black-and-white thinking, where complexity is sidelined. To hold our ground is to embrace nuance and to assert that possibilities exist beyond "this or that." The in-between holds potential for connection, understanding, and growth.
Ram Dass’s wisdom comes to mind. I once heard him share that every belief or practice in our lives serves as a crutch until we transition to the next one. Eventually, we may find that we no longer need any crutches at all. The goal isn’t to eliminate these supports but to recognize their purpose. Our beliefs help us make sense of life, but they don’t define us. When we cling too tightly to our ideas, we risk missing what could support us in the next season of life—just like nature knows when to release and renew.
As we begin to decolonize our own minds, we open ourselves not only to the voices and perspectives of others but also to the many voices within ourselves. We shed the illusion of superiority and fixed paths, realizing that there is no one “right” way. There is only an expansive, inclusive space where everyone’s experience holds value.
As I continue to embrace nuance, I want to invite you to reflect on your own relationship with complexity and uncertainty. Here are a few questions to ponder:
What is your relationship to nuance? Do you find it easy or challenging to hold multiple perspectives?
Is there a specific area where nuance becomes more difficult to hold?
How do labels influence your understanding of yourself and others? Consider how we often define ourselves through roles, achievements, or nationality. When we become too attached to these labels, it can be hard to see our fullness beyond them, but we are all that and more.
“The acceptance of ambiguity and the coexistence of opposites is a mark of a mature psyche.” — James Hollis
I love this reminder from Hollis that a mature psyche can hold the discomfort of ambiguity. When we embrace this, we invite deeper understanding and richer connections. It’s here that we find the freedom to show up in our many layers and evolving forms, honoring the plurality we all are.
There’s more to come on this topic as these thoughts continue to weave together. Thanks for being here.
—MEL
